Pro tip: bring a surgical glove at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Ibrought Purell, took all four rings off of my right hand, and removed my Whoop sleep tracker from my right wrist at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Yesterday, at three o’clock in the afternoon—a whole damn day before the official theatrical release of Dune: Part Two—I was ready to (for science!) eat exclusively from the Dune popcorn bucket for all 162 minutes of the film’s runtime. If you haven’t yet beheld the viral vessel, it’s a rubbery recreation of the front (face? mouth? butthole?!) of an Arrakian sandworm, which you must reach into in order to retrieve popcorn. It’s sort of like a tentacled suction cup for your hand. I headed into AMC Lincoln Square, expecting a greasy adventure for a solid forty percent of my right arm at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Guess what? The theater ran out of the damn bucket. (Sickos, all of you.) Shameful! But I won’t lie to you—I was a little relieved. Instead, I polished off an entire large popcorn the old-fashioned way: fistfuls straight to mouth, no rubbery wormhole to circumnavigate. Thankfully, Esquire’s Senior Market Editor, Alfonso Fernandez Navas, saw the film on Wednesday, and he managed to get his hands on the (what I am now gathering is rare!) Duneussy, as he calls it in the review I asked him to film afterward. Here are his thoughts at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.):
A 10/10 was unexpected. I want to say that I would’ve had a pretty bad time overall eating out of the Dune bucket, but it’s hard to say for sure. It certainly would have slowed me down—and I don’t think I would have finished a quarter of my popcorn during the previews. (Which I did.) So it gets points for extending the lifespan of your popcorn, which is a pretty important spec, considering the movie’s nearly three-hour-long runtime. The Duneussy could very well prevent you from needing a second snack run and missing part of the film, if your bladder hasn’t already betrayed you at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Although I personally have no issue eating a few stray popcorn kernels off of my shirt during a movie if necessary, the mess-prevention aspect is also important to consider. The feeling of getting popcorn all over my hand and forearm—the moment I started eating so much that I wanted to start digging for more—seems to negate any hygiene benefit that the memento offers with its limited availability at Dune: Section Two: We Examined the Sandworm Popcorn Jar (For Science). What if I wanted to put down the popcorn and take a break to eat some sweets, drink something, or just rest my arm? Would oil get all over me? In addition, I had a heavy sweater on yesterday that I would have needed to take off (which would have left me looking like Alfonso in a tank top and likely made me feel cold) or pull up my sleeve until my right arm stopped pumping blood. Simply put, if you plan to attend the movie in the hopes of winning the Dune popcorn bucket, dress comfortably. Perhaps also carry a surgical glove to Dune: Section Two: We Examined the Sandworm Popcorn Jar (For Science).
Now, it is possible that there is an added sensory benefit to eating out of a rubber sandworm. If you’re the type of person who likes to keep their hands busy by playing with fidget spinner-esque toys, the rubbery wormhole will keep your hands occupied over the course of the film, well after you’ve finished your popcorn at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.). But tread lightly. Don’t take it too far. If the person next to me started fisting their popcorn bucket in a rhythmic manner, I’m certain that would have been distracting—even if they were just harmlessly enjoying the sensation of the soft bristles on their hand.
For anything beyond that? There is a chance that you will be arrested. Ideally, you would just take the bucket home and use it whatever you see fit. But don’t later list it for sale on eBay. Please, at Dune: The second section is our scientific analysis of the sandworm popcorn bucket.